People have this funny idea that slender people should like their bodies. If I had a dime for each time a person told me how lucky I am that I'm thin, I would be richer than Bill Gates.
Truth is, I hate my body!
I'm not just slender; I'm petite, so everything is small. That includes body parts I wish were bigger. My nose, now, that's plenty big enough. And I feel a bit of pressure not to gain weight, lest my husband suddenly find me unattractive. It's kind of hard to feel sexy when you're buzy analyzing every flaw. Why can't I just can't be happy with what I've got?
Here's a book that might help with that:
Rachel Greene Baldino and Judy Ford have collaborated to bring readers a book that will enhance the sex lives of committed couples everywhere!
From the back cover of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, by Judy Ford and Rachel Greene Baldino:
• Get In The Mood!
• Supercharge Your Sex Drive!
• Give Your Sex Drive A Boost!
You're no idiot, of course. But you can't figure out what happened to your sex drive. You used to be raring to hop in the sack-and now you're struggling to get your groove back…
Fuel your passion with the powerful pointers in The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire. In this Complete Idiot's Guide, you get:
• A balanced understanding of the physical and emotional issues that can affect your sex drive
• Intimacy-building strategies for enhancing your relationship
• Down-to-earth tips for successfully navigating the six stages of love relationships
• Satisfying suggestions that will help you get back in touch with your sensuality.
Wake up your libido with tips on …
• Getting back in touch with your sexuality
• Keeping sex hot-even after you're married with children
• Staying emotionally in tune with your partner
• Feeling more comfortable with yourself
• Planning sexy date nights
• Making your sexual relationship with your loving, committed partner a top priority
• Discovering and nurturing your personal intimacy style
Now, doesn't this book sound fantastic!
I asked the authors to share how a woman's self-esteem and view of her body affects her sexual desire and what tips they would offer to help a woman who is less than happy with her body image. Here's what they had to say:
This is one of our favorite topics and it is a subject that we address in great detail in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire, since all the research shows that how a woman feels about herself, her sexuality and her body all have an enormous impact on how much sexual desire she feels at any given moment. We feel very strongly that any steps women can take to boost their self-esteem, to feel happy and comfortable in their own skin, can significantly increase not just their sex drive, but also their sense of connectedness to their own mind, body and spirit. One of the big tips we discuss in this area involves rewarding yourself in ways that feel sensual and body-celebrating.
For instance, you can go with a friend to get a manicure and/or a pedicure. This gives you time to bond and laugh with (and confide in) a good friend, which is always a rejuvenating treat for the mind, body and soul. But it also gives you a chance (quite literally) to instantly add some color, zip and pizzazz to your life, and also to feel pampered and relaxed. After all, part of a pedicure is soaking your feet in warm, bubbly water, sitting in a massage chair that can relax your back, having soothing moisturizer applied to your feet and calves, and getting all the rough, old skin sloughed away by a pumice stone. Just think of the symbolism of that: Allowing layers of old skin (or old views of yourself) to fall away so that fresh, new, baby-soft skin can emerge…and perhaps with it, a fresh, new, ultra-positive view of yourself. Indeed, the pedicure is the classic example of a body-celebrating, sensual activity, in no small part because it is so very symbolic of sloughing off the old and allowing the new to come forth, but it may not be everyone’s cup of tea. And if it is not for you, rest assured that there are countless other ways to refresh yourself, treat yourself, celebrate your body and remind yourself of both your internal and external beauty and sense of well-being, and we discuss many more of them in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire.
Another tip we discuss in the book is considered an “old stand-by” in the self-esteem boosting department, but the reason this particular tip is featured in so many self-help books is that it’s powerful, it’s simple and it genuinely works, and that is: the use of positive affirmations. Since you are focused on feeling sexy, loving the skin you are in, and, consequently, feeling greater sexual desire, keep your affirmations focused on the topic of feeling sexy. Also keep affirmations brief, so that they are easy to remember and to recite in your mind (or, in private moments, out loud) whenever and wherever you want. The example we use in the book is: “I feel strong, sexy and confident today.” It’s no frills, simple, direct and right to the point. And the more you say it to yourself, the more you will believe it. After all, words and thoughts have enormous power, and positive words used well, and repeated over and over again, have even greater power. Think about it. Most of us “live in our heads.” That is, we live in the world of our own private thoughts. But we have more control over our thoughts than we sometimes realize. And if you decide today, “I’m going to take greater control of the thoughts I think, especially when it comes to what I think of myself and my body and my worth as a human being, and in my thoughts, I am going to treat myself with the loving compassion that I deserve,” you will be giving yourself one of the greatest gifts you could ever give to yourself … and to your partner … and to your relationship with each other.
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