Welcome to Day 8 of the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge (2022) I will be discussing topics of interest to those who identify as women this year. The Book Connection is lucky number 78 in a list of more than 140 bloggers who are participating in 2022. I encourage you to check out the list and visit other blogs with topics of interest.
HELP
Why is it so hard for women to ask for help? In her 2011 article on the topic, Katherine Stone, creator of Postpartum Progress, discusses "5 Reasons Why Asking for Help Sucks." I can relate to four of the five.
Rejection
When I ask for help and don't get, not only is it disappointing, it's hurtful. It's not like I ask for help every day, so when I do, I really need it. I have to admit, my temper flares, too.
Fear of seeming weak or incapable
This one tends to apply in a career setting--at least for me. When I started in real estate, I had come from several roles where I managed personnel or ran an office. Real estate was all new to me and, despite 40 hours of classes, I felt like I knew nothing. Regularly, new issues or questions arose that I didn't know how to handle. I felt like I should know the answers and shouldn't need to ask for help. These days, I don't mind as much.
Belief that we shouldn't need to ask for help
I briefly mentioned that above, but let's bring this back to a family setting. Imagine coming home after a long day at work. You rush in, put down your laptop bag, barely make it to the kitchen table before being surrounded by hungry animals, and then people are asking when supper will be ready. Oh, and the laundry basket is full, it's trash day, and you have about three more hours of work to complete before bedtime.
There have been many days when I look like the woman above. Instead of asking for help, I grumble inside my head, "Can't they see I need help?" Then I huff and puff around the house getting all frustrated. I should probably be angry with the stubborn mule who won't ask for help when she needs it.
Fear of losing control
This is definitely a workplace issue for me. I'm considered the disciplinarian in my house, so I don't worry about losing control here. As a leader, I can find it hard to allow people to help. What will they think of me? Will I be viewed as ineffective? Will I lose respect?
So, how do we change our views on asking for help? I certainly don't have the answers. I'm still growing and changing in this aspect, too. I did, however, find these articles helpful:
Do you struggle with asking for help when you need it? Can you think of a time you asked for help and it worked out great?
Posts
3 comments:
let's help each other :)
Hey Cheryl.
I hear you. Nodded in 'understanding' to various points you've raised in this post.
All I'd like to say is this : I apply my life's motto--"kindness is always possible" to myself as much as to others. Then, asking for help and not expecting the family to read my mind becomes easier:)
Also, wanted to say -- your blog design is very pleasing to the eye. Reading your posts feels like going through a well tended garden:)
Visiting from https://artismoments.blogspot.com
Yes, ladyleemanila. That sounds like a lovely plan.
Thanks so much, Arti. I change my background with the seasons. I think you'll like when I get to the letter K.
Thanks for stopping by, everyone.
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