Kandy Siahaya Makes Light of Being Heavy

Today's guest blogger is Kandy Siahaya, author of the women's issue humor book, Making Light of Being Heavy. She says:

These days everyone has a society-driven mindset and totally forget to laugh, especially at themselves. This may be cliche but I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine and I think everybody should laugh every day. Period. Over the years as a person blessed with the fat gene, I have been in many situations where if I could not find humor I probably would end up on the couch in the psychiatrist's office. This book is about as politically incorrect as it gets for such a subject but it is also based on reality. This is a reality that many women have just like me, but do not think they can (or should) at times just laugh about it.

My intention when I started writing this book was to hopefully give insight to many who could never relate but at the same time perhaps provide a different perspective to women just like me. It is a point of view that has given me the strength to live my life happily and project these feelings onto everyone I come in contact with. I have a great sense of humor and a quick with and guarantee you will be laughing (and thinking) with each chapter of Making Light of Being Heavy.

Kandy Siahaya was raised in a small town in Maine where she graduated from high school in 1984. She worked her way up from her first job as CSW to Manager of Kentucky Fried Chicken and ended up in Brunswick, Maine. When she decided to leave the fried chicken business at age 22, she packed up her little Chevy Chevette and moved to Fort Myers, Florida where she worked as a waitress and had a great time as a single girl in her 20's. Reality hit when she was 25 years old and went back to Maine and received her Associates Degree at Beal College and promptly moved back to Florida and started a career in medical transcription. In 1995 at age 29, she met her future husband and moved to North Miami Beach, Florida, and continued with transcription starting her own business.

In 2002, Kandy left North Miami Beach and moved back to Maine with her five-year-old son and eventually divorced in 2005. Kandy still does medical transcription but had an unexpected decline in work which left her with a lot of time on her hands. This is when she decided to write a book. This is something she had been thinking about for a few years but never had the time because she was always so busy with her business. It was meant to be a quick and funny read, something to brighten the outlook of many that really do not see the light through their own tunnel vision. It was also intended to be insightful for those that could never possibly relate to this specific subject. Kandy has succeeded in doing just that with Making Light of Being Heavy.

For more information please visit www.makinglightofbeingheavy.com.

Today, Kandy shares with us a little incident involving a cruise ship and a shower.

Kandy's turn:

Ah yes, one of those terrible moments….First let me intro this with a little history. Many may recall the show The Love Boat back in the 1980s. I loved that show! I still remember the song - “…The Love Boat soon will be making another run, The Love Boat promises something for everyone, set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance…” I used to daydream about being on a cruise ship and going to exciting places and having fun all night dancing and going to the shows. I couldn’t wait until the day I could go on a cruise myself and the day did finally come a couple of years after my son was born. We were going on a five-day Carnival cruise stopping in Key West and Cozumel. I was so excited. It was everything I had imagined and even better with yummy drinks and food everywhere. That is until I went to use the shower. Now I understand that they design these ships for maximum capacity and that is all good unless you are a little heavier than the average cruiser. I was attempting to take a shower in my luxurious shower stall which seriously didn’t appear to be more than a foot wide when it seemed like there was a problem with the water. It kept going on and off, on and off. I was starting to get a little irritated until I realized that with every move I made because it was such a tight fit I kept hitting the knob and turning the water on and off! I still laugh when I think about it.

Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen by Dr. J.R. Paine and Professor S.N. Gupta

Today's guest bloggers are Dr. J.R. Paine D.SC. and Professor Dr. S.N. Gupta, Ph.D. They will discuss why their book Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen is the only book on weight loss that you'll ever need.



Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen

by Dr. J. R. Paine, D.SC. and Professor Dr. S. N. Gupta, Ph.D.
Available at www.amazon.com


Let us now tell you how our Dear God book provides the one and only lifelong fat loss formula that is totally fail-proof. “Dear God, Let me Lose Fat, Amen” is not based on the same old, same old laundry list of do’s and don’ts, recipes and pre-cooked foods, diet pills and surgical procedures, hormonal injections and starvation. It is based on facts, rules and laws that universally govern the human body. This book and its lifelong fat loss formulas are based on the laws of nature, physics and science.

Believe it or not, your body is programmed, starting from the first second of its creation, by Nature. Nature sets your inner compass, biological hunger clock and internal cravings switch for a whole lifetime. No diet, pill, surgery or anything that is transported into the body via the mouth can reset and/or reprogram them. Not a trillion diets, not a trillion dollars, not a trillion scientists, doctors, nutritionists, governments, years of starvation, food deprivation, risky diet pills, hormonal injections. liposuctions, surgical procedures, Botox injections, punishing workouts, recipes, despair, pain, anger, and frustration hold the power to change the way Nature has programmed the blueprint of the human body and soul except on a very temporary basis and at heavy cost to the body. But, our “Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen” book, based on the laws of nature, will do this job for you.

We humans are creatures of Nature and creatures of habits. Our brains form a million new connections for every second of our lives. It is in these changing connections that memories are stored, habits learned and personalities shaped, by reinforcing certain patterns of brain activity like desire for survival, health, vigor and vitality, and losing the craving for nutrient-poor, killer calorie-rich, high-fat, high-sugar and high-salt fatty Fast Delivery, Fast Foods and fluids.

“Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen” is a slim book packed with concentrated wisdom supplied by legendary thinkers, educators, scientists, philosophers, physicians, researchers over 2,000 years. This book houses the one and only, never before available, fast delivery system for Fast Knowledge and Fast Facts 30-second, Hot Tips Team of virtual nutritionists, tutors, trainers, bodyguards, and more to feed the brain the knowledge it must have to make the right health and weight decisions for the body it governs.

“Dear God, Let me Lose Fat, Amen” is literally a “Pot of Gold” filled with health gain and weight loss, delicious nuggets of hot tips for instant, Nature approved results. For instance, dieters worldwide will be thrilled to know how to lose 150-200 calories in just 30 seconds. All they need do is look at Pages 28 and 31 of the “Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen” book.

Dieters worldwide will be delighted to know how to naturally boost their metabolism by feeding their body the foods it must have to be healthy and by limiting the foods that carry acid/ash, killer/calorie, disease inducing foods. To own a list of “Foods to Eat and Love” and “Foods to Fear”, just see pages 47 and 48 in the “Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen” book. This is just a tenny-weeny sample. The Dear God book is loaded with know-how and hot tips ready to go to work to protect your health and weight.

The sole objective of “Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen” is to ensure that everyone who owns a human body is able to benefit from Nature’s enormous healing power through our never before available counter-attack fast delivery, fast facts nuggets of knowledge nutrition for the BRAIN served by a team of forty 24/7/365, Auto Slim Hot Tips, virtual Therapists, Personal Trainers, Tutors, Coaches, Nutrition Bodyguards and other health Experts.

Readers will learn the easiest, safest and lifelong way in the world to protect and defend their health and body against obesity/overweight and 32 obesity related diseases. They will make exciting new ways to save time, save money and best of all save their health.

Having reached the Zero Obesity Zone ourselves by using our Patent Pending Auto Slim Hot Tips Team of Health Info-Experts, 24/7 Info-Therapists and Tutors and having sustained the compact body size for better than five years without starvation, food deprivation, risky diet pills, hormonal injections, liposuctions, surgical procedures, punishing physical workouts, pain, anger, and frustration, it is our joy and privilege to help others enjoy the incredible benefits provided by the newly minted virtual team of Health Experts (Patent Pending).

As health researchers, scientists and educators, our job is to make it simple and easy for you to comply with nature’s laws and rules. We have done so in the first book “Dear God, Let Me Lose Fat, Amen”. As British Lord of the Treasury, Dr. Charles Simmons said, “Sickness [disease] is the vengeance of nature for the violation of her laws.”

The massive scope of the obesity and overweight epidemic that currently confronts the nation is not due to indifference. The simple truth is that most humans instinctively know that having their body covered with layers of fat endangers their life. In its May 19, 2006 issue, foxnews.com reports that “Nearly half of the people responding to an online survey said they would give up a year of their life rather than be fat; many said they would walk away from marriage, the chance to have children, be depressed, or become alcoholic rather than be obese.” Clearly, Americans have strong feelings about obesity. Yet, the number of obese Americans is rising rather than falling. The billion dollar question is “How did we get into such a severe health and obesity crisis and how do we get out of it?” The answer is: (a) For decades, we have had 100% easy access to fast foods but ZERO, ZIP access to Fast Knowledge.

Listen to what Nobel Prize Winning Physician Albert Schweitzer said, “Every patient carries her or his own doctor inside.” And, listen to what Nobel Prize Winning Physicist Albert Einstein said ““Nature is the only trusted therapist”.

The DEAR GOD LET ME LOSE FAT AMEN VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR '08 will officially begin on October 1, '08 and end on October 30, '08. You can visit the authors' tour stops at www.virtualbooktours.wordpress.com in September to find out more about them and their new book!

As a special promotion, Pump Up Your Book Promotion is giving away a FREE virtual book tour to a published author with a recent release or a $50 Amazon gift certificate to those not published who comments on our authors' blog stops. More prizes will be announced as they become available. The winner will be announced on our main blog at www.pumpupyourbookpromotion.wordpress.com on October 30!

Author Christee Gabour Atwood is Three Feet Under

Joining us today is Christee Gabour Atwood, who is the author of the hilarious book, Three Feet Under: Journal of a Mid-life Crisis. We’ll talk about this book and what Christee has to say about rubber chickens.

Welcome to The Book Connection, Christee. I’m glad you’re here.

I’m thrilled to be here! I love being able to do interviews in my pajamas… Oops, we don’t have to tell everybody that, do we? Too late?? Oh well, they’re really cute PJs anyway. They’re Atlanta Braves pajamas – and after the year those boys had, they need all the encouragement they can get…

Before we get to your book, can you tell us a bit about yourself? How long have you been writing? What led you down this career path? Do you have any fun hobbies you want to share with us?

I wrote my first book at the ripe old age of 4. The Lion Who Tamed the Man. What a social statement. And what a collection of scribbles, drawings, and chocolate smears. In those days, I did my own illustrations…

I’ve been writing as long as I can remember. I was raised by parents who owned a weekly newspaper and I slept in the bottom drawer of the file cabinet. Which explains why many of those early records are somewhat soggy. My parents gave me one of the old typewriters from the office for my own when I was six and I took over the hot water heater closet as my office.

Since then I’ve been writing constantly. Some of it even made sense … I now have enough manuscripts to wallpaper a 4,000 square foot house. Now, if I could afford a 4,000 square foot house, that would be pretty cool.

I’ve had enough careers so that my resume looks like a novel. Maybe War and Peace. With much more war than peace. There were some tough jobs in there…

I’ve worked in radio, television, newspaper, association management, corporate America, stand-up comedy, Universal Studios Tour Guide, professional speaker, unprofessional speaker (we all have our off days), and as a columnist.

I haven’t had much time for hobbies lately – but I did discover a love for quilting not too long ago. I adore old black and white movies – William Powell is my hero! And I collect old books. Gee, with those hobbies you’d think I was in my 90s…

How long did it take you to bring this book from just a little blip inside your brain to a published creation?

45 years … I’m a slow writer…

The thing is that this book was unusual. It was inspired by the columns I’ve been writing since 1989. By the way, if anyone out there is having trouble being a disciplined writer, a column is a great solution. You have to write whether you’re in the mood or not. It teaches you to throw stuff on the page and keep throwing until something sticks…

The real compilation of this book happened when I got spayed … known in polite circles as a hysterectomy. I actually had to stay home for weeks and I would have gone crazy without being able to write. I was able to finish it in the six weeks before I had to go back to work. Of course, the first few days after surgery, I wasn’t using real words. After all, those are some good medications they give you. But after that, my humor started getting clearer and writing was more fun than ever.

Oh yeah, I did doze off and drool on the keyboard frequently, but that’s just natural for me.

In the prologue of Three Feet Under, you say that mid-life occurs from “mid-thirties to beyond a mid-thirty inch waistline.” I guess I’m there from a chronological perspective anyway. Got any advice for me?

Enjoy it. It’s an excuse for anything you want to blame on it.

“That outfit is inappropriate for someone your age!”
“I’m having a midlife crisis.”

“You are acting ridiculous!”
“I’m having a midlife crisis.”

“You just ran your Toyota over Pauly Shore.”
“I have good taste. Oh yes, and I’m having a midlife crisis.”

See how this can work for you?



There’s an excerpt on your website, which talks about a certain shopping trip you took with your mother. It starts off by saying that your mother just doesn’t understand you. Has this been a life-long battle for understanding or did it happen as you got older? Is there any hope for your mother or is she a lost cause?

Well, now Mom is having those memory issues that come with advanced years, and we’re actually finding that works well for us.

We can have the same disagreements five times in one hour, so we never run out of things to talk about. She tells me it’s okay to tell her the same joke over and over. She still won’t laugh at it. And we’ve decided that anything we forget must not have been all that important.

The battle for understanding actually comes from the fact that she knows me way too well. And she knows the buttons to push to make me crazy. It’s a great way to keep me humble.

Mom has the best method of keeping her kids in line. Whoever is living the furthest away from her is her favorite child.

I love that woman. She’s an inspiration to me at all times…

Speaking of your mother, do you ever find yourself acting just like her now that you’re middle-aged? Is it scary when you stop and say, “Oh my God, I’ve become my mother.”?

Oh lordy yes…

I talk about “kids today”. I say things like, “I remember when none of that was here.” And I play new games like “Connect the varicose veins” and “Make the hair dye job last one extra week”.

I cook like she does. We create meals that we call “exotic”. That means leftovers with additional seasoning on them.

I give myself the same kind of positive self talk that Mom does, like “Well, that’ll have to do” and “At least I don’t sweat much for a fat girl.”

My favorite car used to be a Mercedes. Now my favorite car is “any one that’s paid for”.

I often turn off the radio saying, “That just sounds like noise.”

And I don’t apply lip color anymore. Instead, like Mom, I “slap on a little lipstick before I go out the door”.

I got all of these from Mom and discover more every day…

What are three things that women in the midst of a mid-life crisis will relate to in your book?

I think most women will relate to:

a) Using their exercise bikes as coat racks.

b) Not really remembering what their real hair color was.

c) Spending a half day at the mall trying to remember where they parked their cars.

Those are pretty basic experiences that I think most of us have in common. And one person going through those types of experiences can be depressed, embarrassed, or feel silly. With all of us going through it together, it’s hilarious…

So, what does the rubber chicken have to do with this whole thing?

About 15 years ago I found myself in the hospital from stress. No, not a mental hospital like you might expect from me, but a regular one. I was physically sick, but I knew it had been induced by the constant stress I was under. I worked and worried about work and on my off time, I worried about not working. I was as much fun as a day at the DMV.

When I got home I decided that it was time to stop taking myself so seriously. That’s when I found my first rubber chicken keychain. I started carrying it with me everywhere to remind me not to take myself so seriously. Since then I have given hundreds of rubber chickens to people in my audiences, workplaces, and even drive-thru windows. It’s my own little legacy of laughter. It’s also a way to ensure that my keys are never lost by the guys in valet parking.

I also find that big rubber chickens are a great tool. I use one in meetings. If anyone says anything negative, they get the rubber chicken thrown at them. Then they’re stuck with it until someone else says something negative. Then they can throw it to that person. It reminds everyone to be positive … and it just looks darn funny to see a chicken flying around the room.

And if you want people to give you a lot of room on the road, do what I do. Get a full sized rubber chicken and roll him up in your car window so that just his head is hanging on the outside. No one will tailgate a car with a rubber chicken staring at them.

This all fits in with my theme for midlife, “If I laugh at myself first, then the rest of the world is laughing with me, not at me.”

Where can readers get their hands on a copy of Three Feet Under?

Anywhere books are sold in stores or online. It’s distributed through Simon & Schuster, so if folks can’t find it in their local bookstores, they can order it. And if they order it, I can assure them that it will make my friend, Mr. Electricity Bill, very happy.

And if they want it autographed, they can email me at Christee@Christee.biz and mention this website and I’ll mail them a free bookplate with an autograph to insert in the book. I’ll even autograph it to whomever they like so they can use it as a Christmas gift after they finish reading it. How’s that for a special deal???

What is up next for you? Are there future projects you would like to share with our readers?

Right now I’m working on the book, In Celebration of Elastic Waistbands. I’m doing it as part of National Novel Writing Month, so it will be complete by November 30. It’s a lot of fun and basically celebrates getting comfortable in our own skin.

I’ve also got a number of business and training books out right now – Succession Planning Basics, Presentation Skills Training, and Manager Skills Training. Readers can find out more about these at online bookstores or on my blog at http://successionplanningbasics.blogspot.com/.

Is there anything you would like to add?

I’d like to quote Erma Bombeck, who was a great inspiration to me as a writer. She said, “Seize the day. Remember those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”

How can anyone top a quote like that?

Thanks for stopping by, Christee. Your book sounds great! I hope I can bribe Santa into bringing it to me. Good luck with your mother. If all else fails, I have a friend who lives in a town with a state mental institution on the main drag.

A mental institution?? You’re brilliant!! We’ll just tell Mom it’s a spa.

Thanks so much for allowing me to visit with you and your readers today. This has been a lot of fun. Now I’d like to sit back and see what midlife stories they have. I might want to steal – I mean recycle them for the sequel…