First Chapter Review: Hair of the Corn Dog by A. K. Turner

A.K. Turner is on tour with Pump Up Your Book to talk about her humor book, Hair of the Corn Dog. 

A.K. Turner is the author of This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, Mommy Had a Little Flask, and Hair of the Corn Dog, as well as a co-author of Drinking with Dead Women Writers and Drinking with Dead Drunks. Her work has been featured in various publications and anthologies, including Folio Literary Magazine, Leave the Lipstick, Take the Iguana, and I Just Want to Be Alone. A former writer-in-residence and creator of "The Writers' Block" on Radio Boise, she lives in Idaho with her exceedingly tolerant husband and two daughters.

Learn more at AKTurner.com.

BLURB:  In the latest laugh-out-loud confessional from A.K. Turner's "Tales of Imperfection" series, the author of This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store and Mommy Had a Little Flask relates her adventures on the Jersey Shore, at an Idaho drag show with her in-laws, and surviving the perils of an elementary school ice-cream social with equal parts wit and heart. The laughter pairs well with two parts cocktail.

COVER: This one is a riot. Don't you expect a corn dog to be paired with a beer or a soda? I wasn't expecting a Bloody Mary. The color scheme catches the eye. Between the look of the cover and the title you're bound to pick this one up to glance at it.

FIRST CHAPTER: The author relays a story of visiting a local dive with her husband and his former college buddy. There's lots of drinking, some storytelling from a cab driver, and a next day regret.

KEEP READING:  All I can say is that if this is the opening chapter, you're in for one heck of a ride. I had not expected a chapter titled "Humpin' Hannah's," and I don't drink, so going out to the bar to tie one on means nothing to me--except horrible memories of pretending to fit in and faking it. But I have to tell you, this is a funny chapter. If nothing else, it made me feel so much better about some of the exploits of my youth. Actually, it made me realize that had it not been for some of the wonderful people in my life, I might have been  one of those people the cab driver told the author and her husband about on their ride home from that dive.

Turner is funny. In some parts she seems almost vulnerable or too innocent for her own good. The cab driver's stories are outrageous, making me glad I don't live somewhere like New York City where cabs are the regular mode of transportation. The one thing I could really relate to was how Kelly (the former college buddy) learned keeping up with his college-age tenants wasn't as easy as it seemed. Getting old stinks.

The content isn't my usual style, but I had to admit I snickered and chuckled more than once. If you enjoy edgy, sometimes bawdy humor, this is a book you'll get a kick out of.

Series: The Tales of Imperfection Series
Paperback: 220 pages
Publisher: Fever Streak Press (February 8, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0991375920
ISBN-13: 978-0991375929

I received the first chapter only of this book from Pump Up Your Book. This review contains my honest opinions, which I have not been compensated for in any way.

Interview: Rose Valenta, Author of Sitting on Cold Porcelain

Joining us today is Rose A. Valenta, author of Sitting on Cold Porcelain.

Rose is a nationally syndicated humor columnist. Her irreverent columns have been published in Senior Wire, Associated Content, Courier Post Online, NPR, Newsday, USA TODAY, the WSJ Online, and many other local news and radio websites.

She regularly attends the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop at the University of Dayton, is a member of the Robert Benchley Society and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists (NSNC).

Rose worked for a subsidiary of McGraw-Hill, Datapro Information Services, for 12 years as a technical staff writer, and also wrote freelance articles for other computer industry publications.

Welcome to The Book Connection, Rose. It is wonderful to have you with us. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m one lucky woman. I have a great husband, three wonderful children, and 10 beautiful grandchildren.

Where did you grow up?

I spent my childhood in Olean, NY; Burlington County, NJ; Bucks County, PA; and Philadelphia. Yes, they called me Gypsy Rose.

What is your fondest childhood memory?

I enjoyed spending time with my grandparents. My Grandma in Olean was a professional baker and I loved eating her sugar cookies. My Italian grandparents in NJ were fun too. My Grandfather made wine in huge wooden barrels in the basement. The house always had the wonderful aroma of an Italian restaurant: a happy combination of garlic, locatelli, biscotti, and wine. You always wanted to eat when you got there. I never saw the kitchen table without food on it, even if it was just a large pot of brewed tea and biscotti.

When did you begin writing?

I began writing when I was a young mother raising my children in Philadelphia.

Do you write during the day, at night or whenever you can sneak a few moments?

I think better at night, but I’ll work on an essay whenever it’s quiet around the house and I can spare the time.

What is this book about?

Sitting on Cold Porcelain is a compilation of humorous essays. Its underlying theme is getting a good laugh out of Murphy’s Law. Things always go wrong to tick you off, so you need a humorous perspective.

What inspired you to write it?

Just turn on the TV and listen to all the doom and gloomers' vying for a piece of your good mood. You can wake up in the morning feeling pretty and end the day wanting to deck Glenn Beck. What’s that all about, right? I thought it was supposed to be entertainment.

Then, we have political candidates getting themselves into sex scandals and feel the need not to spare us the details on prime-time news. Where are the kids supposed to do their homework? You can’t V-chip the x-rated news while they are trying to think. You need a good laugh by the end of the day.

Sitting on Cold Porcelain reminds me of a famous Erma Bombeck quote “If you can’t fix it, you can laugh at it.”

Who is your biggest supporter?

My husband is my biggest supporter. He always encourages me to tackle tough topics. You know, when I’m writing about current events or some political fiasco, news you wouldn’t think had any potential for humor.

Are you a member of a critique group? If no, who provides feedback on your work?

I have a terrific support group among my friends from the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop; and I have a great publicist, Marti Lawrence.

Where can readers purchase a copy of your book?

Sitting on Cold Porcelain is available at Amazon, The Kindle Store, Barnes and Noble (also for Nook), Better World Books, and the order desk of your local bookstore. You can also order an autographed copy on my blog.

Do you have a website and/or blog where readers can find out more?

Yes, Rosie’s Renegade Humor Blog – http://www.rosevalenta.com. This is the blog for people who would be knowledgeable about current events and politics if only politicians and news anchors didn’t stretch the truth. “What else is there to do, but share an honest laugh?” Rose said.

What is the best investment you have made in promoting your book?

Signing up with Pump Up Your Book for a virtual book tour.

What is one piece of advice you would like to share with aspiring authors everywhere?

In addition to enjoying your work, pay attention to the important grunt work like editing and marketing. Here are a few things for your guerrilla marketing arsenal: Purchase The Frugal Book Editor and Frugal Book Promoter by Carolyn Howard-Johnson; 1001 Ways to Market Your Books by John Kremer; read Nettie Hartsock’s PR Blog – www.nettiehartsock.com; and take a course called “Writing Is A Profession – Are you A Professional” by Gordon Kirkland at www.gordonkirkland.com.

What is up next for you?

I’m currently working on the manuscript for Sitting on Cold Porcelain II. I’m hoping Mahmūd Ahmadinezhād owns up to whacking Paul the Octopus before press time.

Thanks for spending time with us today, Rose. We had a great time. We wish you continued success.