Zombie problem? Call Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator--but not this weekend.
On vacation at an exterminator’s convention, she's looking to relax, have fun, and enjoy a little romance. Too bad the zombies have a different idea. When they rise from their watery graves to take over the City by the Bay, it looks like it'll be a working vacation after all.
Enjoy the thrill of re-kill with Neeta Lyffe, Zombie Exterminator.
A Day in Neeta’s Lyffe by Karina Fabian
Neeta woke up to the strains of Radioactive Sushi wailing about the glow and smacked off the alarm. Why had she set it so early?
Oh, yeah—dinner with Ted’s mom and cousins, but before that, four quarterly treatments, a new customer appraisal, and Mrs. Beechman. Doable before four, if they didn’t get a 9-1-1 zombie call, but they hadn’t had a zombie sighting in months. More likely, Mrs. Beechman would refuse to hear the doorbell again. Last time, it had taken her half an hour to get her attention. Why someone who lives alone needs to wear noise canceling headphones was beyond her.
Maybe the fates will give me a break. Neeta rose to shower.
Neeta left her house/office to find Ted already loading up her van—a squarish job with bolts and flat panels just like its Hummer predecessors but twice as badass, even painted light blue with the Lyffe-Undeath Exterminations logo splashed on the sides.
“Time’s a-wasting, boss!” he greeted her. “Mom will not accept that we’re late because we were spraying for ants, you know.” Nonetheless, he slipped his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek before they got in the van.
The quarterlies went well, but the new customer had a lot of questions and a big house. It was almost three before they got to Mrs. Beechman’s.
“You start on the outside while I try to get her to let us in,” Neeta said as they pulled up to her house.
“Uh, are you sure she’s here?”
“I double checked the schedule.” Neeta scowled as she regarded the overstuffed mailbox and the newspapers on the porch. “Tell you what: get started anyway; if she’s on vacation, we’ll call and leave a message.”
Neeta grabbed a trash bag from the back and stuffed the mail into it. She could either give it to her or hold onto it until she returned. Then, Mrs. Beechman would have to let her in.
She stuffed the newspapers into the bag, then rang the doorbell. Waited. Rang the bell. Knocked. Finally, she leaned over the porch so she could peek into the window. Yep. There she was, sitting at her desk, those annoying earphones on her head. Neeta banged the window as hard as she could without breaking it. With a daily routine of whacking dummy zombies with a chainsaw, that was plenty hard. Mrs. Beechman jerked and rose from her chair.
Neeta almost fell off the porch when she saw the decaying but mobile corpse. “Ted! We’ve got a dead one!”
She spun and jumped off the steps just as Mrs. Beechman flung open the door. Her undead hand lashed out and grabbed at the swinging bag. Short and dense, she nearly jerked Neeta off her feet.
“Maaaailll!” the zombie groaned.
Neeta release the bag with a shove in her direction and ran to her van.
By the time she and Ted had returned to the porch, suited and armed with monofilament swords, the Late Mrs. Beechman had settled cross-legged on the cement, dividing the mail while grunting, “Spam. Bills. Spam.” She came across the catalog for organic farming and pressed it to her chest. “Graaaains!”
Neeta swung. The single, thin thread of a blade sliced through her neck while the electrified field surrounding it cauterized the flesh. A neat kill, overall.
That didn’t erase the fact that they’d have to clean up, go through decontamination, and fill out the paperwork with the authorities, however. Neeta sighed. “Maybe you’d better call your mom and give her our regrets.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Ted said as he snaked an arm around her. “Such is a day in the life of a zombie exterminator.”
Damnation Books: http://www.damnationbooks.com/book.php?isbn=9781615727643
Amazon: Paperback and Kindle
More about it at http://zombiedeathextreme.com
“Are You the Next Zombie Idol” singing contest?
Damnation Books and Karina are looking for someone to sing the theme song she wrote for I Left My Brains in San Francisco. Karina has the words and the tune; but they need a singer. They are offering prizes for the best singer, the most creative audition video, and are giving one in ten entries a copy of the e-book. The details are at http://fabianspace.blogspot.com/p/are-you-next-zombie-idol.html
Website: http://fabianspace.com, http://dragoneyepi.net, http://zombiedeathextreme.com
Blog: http://fabianspace.blogspot.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karina.fabian
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/KarinaFabian
Google +: https://plus.google.com/103660024891826015212
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/10981939-karina-fabian
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8-Oct
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guest post on how the story came to be & review
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8-Oct
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Writer's Fun Zone ILMBISF
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8-Oct
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tracysmorris.com
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guest post--writing plot or finding time to write
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9-Oct
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guest post--future tech
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10-Oct
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guest post
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11-Oct
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guest post from george or kim
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11-Oct
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Twitterview
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11-Oct
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interview
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12-Oct
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Interview
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13-Oct
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Interview
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14-Oct
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keeping zombies fresh
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15-Oct
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Fun Facts About NLZE2
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15-Oct
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Excerpt
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16-Oct
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Interview
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17-Oct
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info
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18-Oct
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Guest Post--A catholic writes non-Catholic work
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19-Oct
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Guest Post-Writing Tips
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20-Oct
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Review
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21-Oct
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Interview
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22-Oct
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interview
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22-Oct
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Zombie Make-Up tutorial
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23-Oct
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recipe
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24-Oct
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guest post
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25-Oct
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Review
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25-Oct
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guest post on zombies
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25-Oct
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http://susannedrazic.blogspot.com/
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Neeta Interview
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26-Oct
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Gust Post-Marketing Tips
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26-Oct
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Building Neeta's World
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27-Oct
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LIVE signing in Provo
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27-Oct
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interview
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28-Oct
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Info,
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29-Oct
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Shambling in a Winter Wonderland
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30-Oct
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interview
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31-Oct
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review
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1-Nov
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Zombie Idol Contest Ends
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2-Nov
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Review & Giveaway
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Posts
2 comments:
Thanks for the inspiration. This was a fun story to write.
Always great to have you, Karina.
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