Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Interview with Frank Zaccari, Author of When the Wife Cheats

Today's special guest is Frank Zaccari, author of the family/marriage book, When the Wife Cheats. A native of upstate New York, Frank Zaccari earned a degree in finance from California State University at Sacramento after serving as a military medic in the U.S. Air Force. He is currently the owner of an insurance agency and resides in Sacramento, California.

Welcome to The Book Connection, Frank. It's great to have you here. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

My earliest dream was to play shortstop for the New York Yankees. Unfortunately my skills weren’t as great as my desire. I earned a degree in finance from California State University at Sacramento after serving as a military medic in the U.S. Air Force. I spent over 25 years in the high-tech industry holding positions from account representative to CEO, and for nearly 20 years I specialized in turn-around management of companies under 100 million dollars. Upon becoming a single, custodial parent after nearly 25 years of marriage, I left an industry that I loved to buy a small business in order to be home to raise my children. Currently I own an insurance agency and reside in Sacramento, California.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in western New York in a little town named Dunkirk which is about 45 minutes from Buffalo.

What is your fondest childhood memory?

My fondest childhood memories are the hundreds of hours I spent playing baseball at the local playground.

When did you begin writing?

I wrote the book When the Wife Cheats at the recommendation of family/grief counselors. The counselors told me this was the first generation in the United States where the wife/mother was leaving the family. They added there is little to no data regarding the impact on the family, particularly daughters, since men are not willing to talk. They said writing what occurred would help my daughters validate their feelings.

Do you write during the day, at night or whenever you can sneak a few moments?

Writing When the Wife Cheats was a very emotional experience. My youngest daughter was still living with me at the time and I did not want to upset her while I was writing the book. I also wanted to be completely available for her when she wanted to talk or vent. So on the nights when my emotions would not let me sleep I would get up, go into the extra bedroom and write the book. When the Wife Cheats was largely written between the hours of 1:00 and 4:00 in the morning when my daughter was asleep.

What is this book about?

When the Wife Cheats is about a family, father and two young daughters, discovering then coping with and ultimately surviving the lies, deceit, betrayal and abandonment of infidelity.

What inspired you to write it?

As the word about my wife’s affair and leaving the family made its way around our community, a strange thing happened; male friends and acquaintances told me how sorry they were and shared a similar experience. I was shocked. I had no idea so many men had been victimized by infidelity. I thought I was the only man who was so terrible that my wife not only left me, she left our entire family. I knew something was terribly wrong with our marriage, but I had no idea what it was and my wife was not forthcoming with the reason.

As I heard more stories, I started to see a pattern, some common threads in all the stories. I decided to write this book about infidelity from the man’s and children’s perspective. It is based on actual situations told to me by many men who went through the devastation of their wives’ infidelity. Their story and mine were woven into one story.

Who is your biggest supporter?

My daughters Stephanie and Sara! They did not deserve the lies, deceit, betrayal and abandonment we all had to endure. Yet somehow we survived. I survived mainly because of their love and support during the saddest and lowest point in my life. We survived because of our unwavering love for each other and the commitment to our family of three. Both Stephanie and Sara have grown to be wonderful daughters, and soon loving wives and loving nurturing mothers. Being their father is the greatest joy of my life.

Are you a member of a critique group? If no, who provides feedback on your work?

I don’t belong to a critique group. Since I am a new author, I used friends and family to help me.

Who is your favorite author?

I love authors who tell great stories. I have read every Sidney Sheldon book. He was an amazing story teller. I enjoy Jeffrey Archer’s ability to create intrigue and the ability that Mitch Albom, Nicholas Sparks and Tim Russert have to touch the reader’s heart.

Do you have an agent or are you looking for one?

Since I self published When the Wife Cheats the entire writing world is new experience. I do not have an agent at the moment but would love to have a serious conversation with one who can guide me through this exciting yet confusing process.

Was the road to publication smooth sailing or a bumpy ride?

When the Wife Cheats is my first book. I guess the old saying ignorance is bliss is true. Since I didn’t know what I didn’t know, I just plowed forward, wrote and self-published a book. Getting the book published wasn’t very difficult, however the promotion after getting it was published has been an adventure to say the least.

If you knew then, what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently?

I would have spent more time researching the most efficient methods of promoting a self published book.

Where can readers purchase a copy of your book?

Currently When the Wife Cheats can be ordered at

Do you have a website and/or blog where readers can find out more?

My Website is

Do you have a video trailer to promote your book? If yes, where can readers find it?

I used You Tube to post a book trailer for When the Wife Cheats. The trailer can be found at  I hope as people read and hopefully enjoy this book and the trailer they will spread the word to their friends. This is a topic that must be discussed to help men and children survive the devastating effects of infidelity.

What is the best investment you have made in promoting your book?

After some trial and error I was introduced to Charles Barrett from the Barrett Company. I have thoroughly enjoyed working with Charlie and his associates.

What is one piece of advice you would like to share with aspiring authors everywhere?

Don’t take NO for an answer! You are going to hear NO far more than Yes.

What is up next for you?

I wrote a second book named From the Ashes: The story of the University of Washington Volleyball Program. This is a true story that chronicles how proper leadership and business management principals helped in turning UW’s volleyball program from a disorganized, losing system to an incredibly successful, elite program.

I am finishing my third book named Inside the Spaghetti Bowl. Like many of the “baby boomers” my family recently faced the difficult task of burying our Mother. This is a book about family and unconditional love through the good times and bad. It is about a family who is and always will be there for each other no matter what. We hope you see your family in this book and the memories make you smile.

Is there anything you would like to add?

Thank you for the opportunity to tell you about When the Wife Cheats.

I hope and pray that you never suffer the devastation of infidelity, but if you do, let me leave you with this one last thought. When you find yourself in the depths of depression and sorrow; when you don’t believe you have the strength to even get out of bed; when you have no idea how you are going to survive the next hour – let alone raise your children. Believe me you will have ALL of these feelings. When you feel completely overwhelmed – remember this”

Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

Thanks for spending time with us today, Frank. We wish you great success.

Readers can visit the author on Facebook at

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