Saturday, June 21, 2008
No one is exempt from pain. Not even self-help book authors.
In one year, I went through a string of so many bad occurrences, I kept waiitng for a Candid Camera crew to appear from behind the planter in my living room. First, the real estate broker, real estate lawyer, and moving company I hired found sneaky ways to rip me off. Next, a longtime business buddy hired me to package new groovy chocolate bars, then never paid me. But those were nothing compared to the lowest point; a sexual assault by someone I knew as an acquaintance.
I'm sharing these pains with you in order for you to understand that I fully understand how painful and challenging life can be. Thankfully I also understand how with right psychological resiliency tools at your disposal, you can bounce back from a set back -- often even stronger, wiser, happier. Indeed the worst of times often paradoxically can double-duty as the best of times.
Below are three tips from my new book The Bounce Back Book that were most helpful to me in my time of need -- and will hopefully help you cope with whatever you're going through as well.
Tip # 11: If you ask depressing questions, you will 100% get depressing answers.
Are you asking yourself questions that further weigh you down?
"Why didn't I…?" "What if…?" "Why me?"
Would you accept some of the mean and nasty questions you ask yourself if they came from an outside source?
If not, then top and swap them immediately for these questions that bounce you upward:
"What can I do to move forward?" "How can I grow from this challenge?" "What's within my control to change?"
Tip # 15: Find your bounceable people.
According to Aristotle, we humans are biologically social animals and our "first nature" is to be around people. However, I personally discovered that after my trauma, being around people felt much more like my 2,841st nature. It's common to want to hide away, but studies show it's far more healthful to seek support. Surround yourself with understanding people who you can trust and confide in.
Tip # 35: Don't just write a "To Do" list. Write a "To Be" list.
What kind of person will you have to become to get through tough times and snag all you want in life? Make a list of adjectives that will get you where you want to be. Vow to become more of them.
My last word of advice (well, actually four words!) would be to remember what Joseph Campbell once said: "When you're falling, dive."
Enter my Bounce Back contest for a chance to win a free Fairmont Spa vacation! (Yes! A fabulous spa package for 3 days/2 nights for two people -- and 2 personalized spa treatments for each person at Willow Stream Spa in gorgeous Fairmont Newport Beach, California. You will be indulged like never before in one of seven decadent treatment rooms appointed with oversized spa beds!)
Simply buy THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK before July 1st and send me the proof of Amazon receipt to notsalmonstafff(at)notsalmon(dot)com. Then you have until August 1st to send me an uplifting story of glory over a tough time. Submissions should be between 400 and 1200 words and depict your personal tale of "woe" to "wow." Looking forward to hearing about your incredible come-back!!
For more information about The Bounce Back Book Virtual Book Tour, visit http://thebouncebackbookblog.com/