A tender romance about the paths we take to escape and the detours it takes to reroute us.
The Side Road
Chapter One: He did what?
In the front window of Hook
& Knot, a small independent store in the historic village of Eagle Nest,
stood a life-sized model of a sheep. Called Fiona, it was named after the
world’s loneliest sheep.
The real Fiona had spent
two years stranded at the base of a Highland cliff in Scotland. After getting
separated from her mother, she stumbled down the mountain and couldn’t find her
way back to the top. Animal activists eventually rescued Fiona from a cave,
where she had been sheltering from the harsh Highland weather. Her survival was
a testament to the sheep’s strength and resilience.
The species, not known for
its intelligence, was unlikely to star in a David Attenborough documentary
anytime soon, but people around town knew Fiona for her colourful clothes and
coordinated accessories. Several times, her picture had appeared in the town
newsletter, and she was a feature on the regional tourist map.
In the shop window, Fiona
wore a fluffy green jacket with matching socks and a long scarf. A lopsided
beanie rested on her head. Early autumn, she radiated warmth and cosy comfort.
Inside the store, Mia was
busy stacking small, knitted dolls – modelled on famous women from history. –
in a basket on the front counter. After fixing the flower in Frida Kahlo’s
hair, she added the doll to a pile of female icons.
A lover of hand-knits, Mia
wore a pink cardigan with covered buttons and wide sleeves that cinched at the
cuffs. Embroidery adorned the pockets of her frayed jeans. Her long,
honey-coloured hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. She had a fine-boned but
durable face and almost perfect skin, which made her look younger than her
thirty-seven years. In her stylish but comfortable clothes, she radiated a
girl-next-door glamour.
When the string of bells on
the front door tinkled, she paused and looked up. Her clear blue eyes
considered Saige; the sixteen-year-old part-time shop assistant was twenty
minutes late.
Lost in her phone, Saige
drifted toward the counter. ‘Mia, aliens just landed,’ she said.
‘I doubt that’s true.’ Mia
flattened the edges of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s lace collar before adding the doll
to the basket.
‘There’s a picture.’ Saige
showed Mia her screen.
‘Unfortunately, that
doesn’t make it true. Why are you always late?’
‘I honestly don’t know.’
Saige continued scrolling.
‘Please, no more late
afternoons or unscheduled days off unless you really are sick. Then I’ll need a
doctor’s certificate.’
‘Can my dad write a note?’
‘No. Come to work on time.’
Saige paused. ‘Did you just
cancel me?’
‘I don’t think so…’ Mia
held up Joan of Arc - the doll was missing her banner. ‘Have you seen Joan’s
flag?’
Saige took this news
seriously. ‘The woman on fire!’ Lifting her head, she glanced around the shop.
Somewhere amongst the floor-to-ceiling shelves of yarn, the throw rugs that
tumbled out of hampers, and the knitted gloves and scarves that filled the wicker
baskets was a tiny white flag.
Overwhelmed by the enormity
of the task, Saige promptly returned to her phone.
‘I need you to create a new
seasonal display,’ Mia said.
‘Mild,’ Saige replied.
Saige had an eye for colour
and a talent for visual merchandising, but her dreamy nature made her
unreliable. Wearing a hoodie, a short skirt, and chunky boots, she had the air
of a ballet dancer – despite the footwear – she glided past Mia and tucked her
bag into the shelf behind the front counter.
When the shop phone rang,
Mia picked up the receiver. ‘Good afternoon, Hook and Knot. How can—’ It was
Blanche, her aunt. ‘Slow down,’ Mia said. ‘I can’t understand a word… Wait, he
did what?’ Mia paused. ‘He put a chicken where?… Oh my god, I’ll be there as
soon as I can.’
Mia turned to Saige. ‘I
have to leave. There’s a family emergency. I won’t be long, but now is your
time to shine.’
Saige frowned, chewing her
lip. ‘All I ever do is clean.’
‘I’m leaving you in
charge.’
The girl’s face lit up.
‘Can I dress Fiona?’
‘We changed her clothes
yesterday, but you can set up the Spectacle of Socks.’ From behind the counter,
Mia handed Saige a dozen cardboard display feet and a bag of knitted socks.
‘The socks go on the feet,’ Mia explained. ‘You place them around the store.’
Saige peered into the bag
of socks. ‘I get to choose?’
‘Yes. But customers come
first.’ Mia opened her phone and called Carlos, the local taxi driver. The town
was too small to support an Uber business.
Forty minutes later, Mia
entered the emergency ward of the regional medical centre. An attendant showed
her to a cubicle where her Uncle Leo waited, perched on the edge of the bed. A
dishevelled, good-looking man in his seventies, Leo had a wiry smile and the
same optimistic blue eyes as Mia.
Beside him was Blanche,
Mia’s aunt by marriage. Five years ago, in a modest registry ceremony, Blanche
had married Leo. The couple met at a regional dance competition. Leo’s waltz
had impressed her. Six months later, he proposed. After buying a small Federation
house, they settled in a neighbouring town.
Blanche held a blood-soaked
towel over Leo’s knee. She wore a black pantsuit under a yellow cardigan. Blond
hair was tucked behind her ears, and chunky sunglasses rested on her forehead.
When she saw Mia, her cautious expression softened into an amused, friendly
smile.
After Mia kissed her aunt
on the cheek, she removed the sunglasses and handed them to Blanche.
‘Thank you. I would have
forgotten.’
‘Tell me again, what
happened?’ Mia asked.
‘It’s nothing serious.’ Leo
waved Mia away. ‘You’re not needed. You can go back to work.’
‘He put a frozen chicken
under his hat,’ Blanche said. ‘The cold gave him brain freeze, and he passed
out.’
‘Why would you put a
chicken…’
‘He was trying to smuggle
it out of the supermarket.’
Mia considered her uncle.
‘Are you losing your mind?’
‘I don’t think so. By god,
I almost got away with it.’
‘We’re still waiting to see
the doctor. This room is giving me agoraphobia. There’s a kitchen across the
hall; I’ll make us a cup of tea.’ Blanche handed the blood-soaked towel to Mia
and walked toward the door.
‘She means claustrophobia,’
Leo said, his gaze on his wife as she left the room. ‘Now that we’re alone, I
should tell you I hit my head on the way down, but I haven’t told them, so it’s
our secret.’
Mia sat next to her uncle
and stared at the side of his head. ‘You might have a concussion.’
‘I feel fine.’ He patted
her knee.
Blanche returned with
takeaway cups filled with scalding-hot tea. ‘I could only carry two cups,’ she
explained. ‘Leo and I can share.’ After placing them on a high mobile table,
she wheeled it closer so Leo could reach the cup.
‘Actually, I’m glad you’re
here because we wanted to have a chat with you about freezing your eggs,’
Blanche said.
Mia choked on her tea.
‘Just give it some thought.
Meredith’s daughter is your age, and she’s done it. We think it’s something you
should consider.’
‘Along with my hair
colour.’
‘You’re making light of a
serious subject.’ Blanche blew into the cup of tea.
‘I’ve always loved a dark
comedy.’
‘Dark comedy aside, you
know what we mean? The success rate of pregnancy from frozen eggs is low – I
did some reading – but it’s still a good backup plan. Just in case…’
‘Are we really having this
conversation in the emergency ward?’
Leo smiled. ‘She’s lovely
when she’s angry, isn’t she?’ He turned to Blanche. ‘If we sold her, how much
do you think we’d get?’
Blanche slipped on a pair
of reading glasses and looked Mia over. ‘I’m not taking anything under a
million.’
‘We’ll need that much to
get through our retirement.’ Under the table, Leo tickled Blanche’s knee, and
she giggled.
‘If you could please
restrain yourselves,’ Mia said.
The door opened. A
middle-aged, dark-haired woman wearing a denim dress with comfortable-looking
trainers entered. In her hand, she held Leo’s chart. After pausing inside the
doorway, she read through the details, then she raised her gaze and considered Leo
sitting on the bed.
‘More people steal meat
than any other type of food. Did you know that?’ the doctor said.
‘It was a smoked Portuguese
chicken breast,’ Leo confirmed. He looked at Blanche. ‘I guess it’s cat food
for dinner tonight.’
Mia laughed.
The doctor frowned. ‘How
old are you?’ she asked.
‘Seventy-six. Thought I’d
be sitting in a wheelchair dribbling by now. No desire to be carried off in a
box just yet. Lost some of my teeth, but I’ve still got most of my marbles.’
‘Did you bump your head?’
the doctor asked.
‘A slight bump,’ Leo
confessed.
‘Okay, after the nurse
dresses your wound, I’d like to run a few tests.’ She removed the stethoscope
from around her neck and began her examination.
Leo was a surprisingly
cooperative patient. He remained calm while the medical staff checked his vital
signs and drew blood. The doctor scheduled a head scan for the following week.
An hour later, standing in
the hospital carpark, Blanche took a set of keys from her handbag and passed
them to Mia. ‘The bike is still at the supermarket,’ she said. ‘Would you mind
driving it home? Leo will be in the car for the next few weeks.’
Leo rode a classic BMW
R90/6. Built in 1974, it had a glossy black frame with a matching sidecar. Mia
hesitated; the bike was Leo’s pride and joy. Confiscating his keys would not go
down well.
‘Nonsense. I can ride it
home,’ Leo insisted.
‘No, you can’t,’ Blanche
snapped. ‘Not until your test results come back. And for the record, it wasn’t
my idea – you can blame the medical profession for caring too much.’
Leo complained that his
independence, symbolised by his motorbike licence, was integral to his
masculinity. Blanche rolled her eyes. Again, she repeated the advice of the
medical staff – the BMW was off-limits. Until further notice, Mia had the keys.
Mia jiggled the keys. ‘I’ll
pick you up. You can ride in the sidecar,’ she told him.
‘I ride on the bike, not
in the sidecar.’
A ringing phone interrupted
their disagreement. Unsure who the phone belonged to, Blanche and Leo looked at
Mia.
‘It’s not mine,’ Mia
assured them.
Blanche searched her
handbag. Finally locating the phone, she pulled it out and answered the call.
‘Oliver, darling, what a
lovely surprise. How are you…’ Blanche paused. She clutched the front of her
dress. ‘Oh dear, that is bad news. Darling, don’t worry about a thing. We’re on
our way. Tash can stay with us until you get here.’ She ended the call. ‘Elsie
Buchanan died this morning.’
‘Really? She was in fine
health last week,’ Leo said. ‘Completely ignored me when I passed her in the
street. When I said good morning, she looked the other way.’
‘Who’s Elsie Buchanan?’ Mia
asked.
‘You know Elsie, she’s my
second cousin,’ Blanche said. ‘You must know her. She lives in the old
parsonage. Remember, I told you about the incident with the orange pork
surprise?’
Mia shrugged. ‘Honestly, I
only listen to half the things you tell me.’
‘Natasha found her in bed
this morning…dead,’ Blanche continued. ‘Oliver is on his way, but it will be a
few days before he gets here.’
‘Where does he live? On the
moon?’ Mia asked.
‘Worse – in the Kimberley,’
Blanche said.
‘It’s a bloody big
country,’ Leo confirmed.
‘The poor girl. We need to
get to her as fast as we can.’
‘To the Batmobile,’ Mia
said.
‘Ha ha.’ Leo smiled.
‘Explain it to me again,’
Mia said. ‘Who lives in the parsonage?’
Website: sarahlahey.com
Instagram: @sarah_lahey_author
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